How to find your tribe.

We all have an inherent need to belong. A need to feel understood and seen. A tribe to call our own. You know, our family outside of our blood family. 

These individuals greatly impact our lives in a positive way. I believe there's a tribe for everyone.  After all, your tribe is based on your personality, common beliefs and interests. In order to determine which tribe you belong to, you’re going to have to do some soul-searching and really get to know yourself, if you don't already. 

Here are 4 tips to find your tribe:  

Be yourself. Get comfortable with yourself. Learn to love your quirks, the little things that make you, You. Your quirks make you memorable. Being yourself makes it easy for your tribe to recognize you.

Seek your tribe. As the saying goes, what you're seeking is seeking you. As much as you want to find your tribe, they too want to find you. So, sign up for a class, attend events or join a club where you know like-minded people will be in attendance.

You won't be everyone's cup of tea. It may be a hard pill to swallow.  But, you will come across some people that just don't like you, so remember to try not to take it personally.  How people receive you is none of your business, your tribe will welcome you with open arms.

Use discernment. It goes both ways.  Again, you won't be everyone's cup of tea and, of course, they won't be yours either. Be sure to pay attention to how you feel while in the company of others and proceed accordingly.

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Why you shouldn't feel guilty about outgrowing friendships

I think it's inevitable that as we grow some people will get left behind. Sometimes the people that have known us the longest get hung up on seeing the old version of us and when we make efforts to progress in life they try to sabotage us by planting seeds of guilt and doubt in our minds. The fear of being left behind will make people stoop low to do such things but just because someone is comfortable with staying the same, that doesn't mean you let that stop you from progressing. 

I believe, in life, we have different chapters that represent a stage of growth and each stage requires different people to support us and offer wisdom, for us to feel fulfilled.

It's bittersweet but don't let loyalty be the reason you hold onto dead end friendships, you owe it to yourself to be the best version of you and if your friends are holding you back from that then you need to proceed in life without them. Anything that hinders your growth is unhealthy. Outgrowing people is a sign of growth, you're no longer the person you used to be and that's a good thing (providing that you changed for the best and not the worst lol). Try not to feel guilty but instead embrace it and see it as a part of life -the only constant in life is change. Be brave enough to move forward and find your tribe so you can thrive in life.

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Why you need to celebrate yourself

We live in a society where self-deprecation is more accepted than self-appreciation. In fact, it's encouraged in a way, because there isn't much of a backlash when it comes to talking down on yourself. I mean, if anything you're just inviting others to do the same but the opposite triggers those that feel the need to humble others and why is that? Confidence offends insecure people.

 We're told it's fine to celebrate everyone and everything but ourselves. Talking about your accomplishments is seen as bragging and complimenting yourself is seen as narcissistic? Hmm I guess we must wait for others to validate us instead? But then you will seen as needy lol make it make sense!

Share your stories of your success (inspire others) Take pictures, compliment yourself, take it all in and love it. Absolutely! We have one life and it is to be lived.

There have been too many times I've noticed peoples reactions to others bigging themselves up and it's mainly been negative...the usual eye-roll and screwing of the face. It's quite embarrassing to witness, I mean no one likes arrogance but I do believe you should be able to speak highly of yourself and your accomplishments without being made to feel bad about it. 

If you feel the need to humble others it shows you are in need of healing. Their confidence is clearly triggering a wound and instead of spending time and energy on bringing people down, direct that energy into finding ways to raise your self-esteem. If you're struggling with this, think of all the great things you've accomplished big or small and list them out. Make sure you put this list somewhere you can view it daily to serve as a reminder of how much you have accomplished because sometimes we are too future-focused it makes it easy to forget how much we have already achieved. 

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